


No Solution

by marssan



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Nonbinary Character, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:20:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4766435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marssan/pseuds/marssan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanbee didn’t say anything for a moment. It was rare Suzuya had a problem that didn’t have a quick solution. Most problems didn’t fester like this. Most problems didn’t shape who Suzuya was, with all of his eccentricities and the things most people saw as strange and childish. It ran deeper than that. It had robbed him and robbed him and would continue to rob him, and there was nothing Hanbee could do to fix it.</p><p>tw for references to child abuse</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Solution

**Author's Note:**

> Using they/them pronouns for Hanbee because I personally headcanon them as agender!

It was nearly midnight, but the city’s bustle was as loud as ever outside the apartment window. Cars sped by, brakes screeched, voices fought to usurp one another in volume. An ambulance bounded through it all, its siren muted with all the noise, but its flashing lights seeping through the blinds and dancing red over the room’s surfaces. 

Hanbee listened as the siren faded, sinking back into the cacophonous sounds of Tokyo’s nightlife. They hated the noise when they first moved into their humble apartment, but now it seemed hard to imagine the night without it. Drunken laughter and traffic jams had become as mundane as the ticking of a clock. Silence would be much, much worse. 

They lay on their couch with the back of their head up against the armrest, legs folded slightly with their laptop set upright against their thighs. They’d traded in their usual uniform for a black t-shirt and a worn pair of gray sweatpants. They’d been working on writing up a report, but it’d been long since they’d lost their train of thought. Every time they’d made a move to write, they’d lost themselves in the sounds outside their window. They could sometimes hear bits and pieces of conversations – just the loud ones, the yelling matches and the road rage – and they’d find themselves typing whatever they’d just heard instead of the usual formalities of their analyses. 

Reports were normally easy for them. They had a knack for recording data in a way that was precise and comprehensive – and they could get it done fast. Hanbee quietly took pride in their writing. There weren’t many things they felt that way about. 

Writing about the Auction had been different. There were too many things that didn’t sit right with them – not that they weren’t confident in their information, but that the information felt too _personal_. The whole operation had left a bittersweet taste in their mouth. Killing was still difficult for them, but watching the Big Madame die had felt good. Dealing her a blow themselves had felt even better. 

Feeling Suzuya tense as they held their hands over his ears had felt horrible. 

They shut their laptop and set it down on the coffee table. Grabbing a blanket from the far end of the couch, they rolled over until they were facing the back cushions. They’d finish the report before they left for work in the morning. It didn’t need to be done for another few days, anyway. 

Hanbee was asleep for just a few minutes before a faint buzz forced them awake again. They looked over their shoulder at their phone on the coffee table. The screen was lit up, casting a blue light over the room. There was a new message from Suzuya. 

**r u awake?**

Hanbee unlocked their phone after only two attempts to type in the correct password, then quickly sent a reply.

**Yes. What do you need?**

Hanbee watched as the bouncing ellipses appeared and disappeared several times from Suzuya’s side of the screen. Their boss normally didn’t put this much thought into a text message. Then, finally:

**can i come in?**

Hanbee didn’t process the message at first. Come in? Did that mean Suzuya was already—

A knock at the front door confirmed it. Hanbee threw off their blanket and stumbled over to unlock the door, phone still in hand. Despite the message, they were still surprised to see Suzuya standing there when they got the door open.

He looked smaller than usual, lit from above by a single, flickering florescent light. Traffic buzzed behind him. It was louder now without the barrier of the door. He had thrown on a black hoodie over his pajamas, and his hair was tangled around a red hair tie. It looked slept on. 

Suzuya shuffled his feet for a moment before stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. Hanbee noticed he had a backpack. They silently hoped their boss had remembered to pack a toothbrush. 

“Did you even check to make sure it was me?” Suzuya said. 

Hanbee shook their head. “No, I was worried. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“You got lucky this time, then.” Suzuya took off his slippers and set them down by the door. “Your apartment is messier than I thought it’d be.”

Hanbee blushed and stepped past Suzuya to pick up a shirt they’d haphazardly thrown off when they’d gotten home from work that day. They were suited to manage their boss’s life. Their own was an entirely different story. 

“A-are you all right?” Hanbee asked, throwing the shirt into a hamper by the door. “Your message was pretty unexpected. Is there a problem at your place?”

Suzuya didn’t look at Hanbee. He’d preoccupied himself with looking through the books that were stacked on the coffee table. After a minute, it became apparent he wasn’t going to answer. 

Hanbee knew to let it go. “Can I get you anything? Tea?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Suzuya replied. He took off his backpack and set it down next to the couch before taking a seat, flipping through one of the outdated fashion magazines Hanbee had sitting on the table. 

Once Hanbee had set the kettle on the stove, they joined Suzuya on the couch. They sat at the opposite end, not entirely certain how much space their boss needed. It was obvious something was upsetting him. Even if Hanbee didn’t know for sure what it was, they knew Suzuya would tell them – or rather, not tell them – on his own terms.

Suzuya looked at the laptop on the coffee table. He put down the magazine. 

“Have you been working on your report?”

Hanbee nodded. “I’ll admit it’s taking me longer than usual, but I should have it done by tomorrow.”

Suzuya kept staring at the laptop. Eventually, he turned his gaze on Hanbee.

“Can I read it?”

“I-I mean, it’s not done—“

“I just want to see what you have.”

Hanbee sighed. They opened up their laptop and entered their password. The document was still open from when they’d been working on it earlier. They handed it to Suzuya. 

Hanbee watched as Suzuya’s eyes darted quickly back and forth, more focused than he usually was when he had to read formal documents. Though his face was blank, he was pulling at the thread in his arm so forcefully Hanbee had to lay a gentle hand on their boss’s own to remind him to stop. After a few minutes, Suzuya handed the laptop back to Hanbee. 

“Everything’s accurate, as always.” He said. “Lots of typos towards the end. You shouldn’t write when you’re tired.” 

The kettle whistled on the stove, and Hanbee got up to pour Suzuya a cup of tea. Three sugars and a ¼ a cup of creamer. Hanbee could go through the motions with their eyes closed. 

They set the cup on a plate and brought it over to Suzuya, who had picked up the magazine again. This time, his eyes didn’t look focused on the page. He didn’t even notice Hanbee had returned until they set the tea down on the table in front of him.

“Thanks.” Suzuya said quietly. He put the magazine down and picked up the teacup.

As he took a sip, Hanbee could see tears welling up in his eyes. Suzuya put the cup down – nearly spilling the tea over the plate – and frantically wiped at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“What’s wrong? Was the tea too hot?” Hanbee placed a hand on Suzuya’s shoulder. 

“No, no, that wouldn’t matter anyway.“ Suzuya buried his face in his sleeves. “I don’t know what it is, but I-I’ve…I’ve felt it all day. I couldn’t even sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I—" Suzuya sobbed. By the look on his face, he was just as surprised as Hanbee. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Hanbee asked.

“That’s why I came here.” Suzuya said. “You’re stable – I mean, you keep me stable. You always know what’s wrong, you always know how to _fix_ everything.” He laughed. “I thought I’d feel better if I was with you. I thought you’d make everything okay again.” 

“I…Take it that’s not working.” 

“It’s not your fault.” Suzuya pulled his knees up against his chest so Hanbee couldn’t see his face. “This is too big of a mess for even you to clean up.”

“What is?”

“…Me, I guess.” 

Hanbee didn’t say anything for a moment. It was rare Suzuya had a problem that didn’t have a quick solution. Most problems didn’t fester like this. Most problems didn’t shape who Suzuya was, with all of his eccentricities and the things most people saw as strange and childish. It ran deeper than that. It had robbed him and robbed him and would continue to rob him, and there was nothing Hanbee could do to fix it.

Suzuya didn’t want to confront it. Hanbee had hoped that after seeing the Madame’s death, it would bring Suzuya some sort of closure. It hadn’t. 

And there it all was - everything that was taken away from Suzuya - in a concise, albeit unfinished report. 

“You’re not a mess.” Was all Hanbee could think to say. 

“I don’t have to tell you why that’s not true.” 

“It _is_ true.” Hanbee tentatively placed a hand on Suzuya’s arm. When their boss didn’t move away, they slid closer and wrapped him in a gentle hug. “Look at everything you’ve overcome – all on your own. You’re stronger than anyone I know, Suzuya. I…You already know I couldn’t admire you more if I tried.” 

Suzuya tensed at first at the hug, then slowly unfolded his legs so he could wrap his arms around Hanbee’s waist. He buried his face in their chest, eyes already damp, but still trying his best not to cry. 

“I’m sad Mama’s dead.” Suzuya’s voice was shaky. “I _know_ it’s fucked up, but—“ He tightened his grip around Hanbee and sobbed. This time, he didn’t try to stop himself. 

Hanbee rubbed small circles into Suzuya’s back, staying quiet while their boss cried. Talking wouldn’t do any good. Hanbee knew there were some things words couldn’t remedy. 

Suzuya managed to compose himself after a few minutes, but he seemed reluctant to let go of Hanbee. He kept his head tucked under Hanbee’s chin, his arms still tight around their waist. Neither wanted to break the silence.

“How embarrassing.” Suzuya was the first to cave. His voice was hoarse from crying, but it was certainly closer to its normal tone. 

Hanbee laughed softly. “Oh, please. How many times have I cried in front of you?” 

“It’s different. I’m your boss.” 

“That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to cry.” 

Suzuya moved his head to look up at Hanbee. He smiled. 

“Thank you, Hanbee. Really.” He leaned upwards and kissed the bottom of Hanbee’s jaw. It was quick and awkward – obviously not very well thought out. Hanbee wasn’t quite sure of the meaning behind it. They figured that was a conversation for another day. When Suzuya was ready. 

For now, they slowly leaned back against the armrest so Suzuya could share the couch, his head resting against Hanbee’s chest. Suzuya grabbed the blanket off the floor and pulled it over them both. 

“Is this all right?” Hanbee asked quietly.

Suzuya nodded. He was already half asleep. 

Hanbee smiled. They ran a hand lightly through Suzuya’s hair, carefully working the hair tie out of the mess of tangles. Looking at the soft features of Suzuya’s face, the brightness of his eyes – Hanbee sometimes couldn’t believe the things he had been through. It made them feel protective over Suzuya, though _he_ was the one who always seemed to be protecting _them_. 

Hanbee softly kissed the top of their boss’s head. They leaned their head back against the armrest and listened to the sounds of the city outside, though rushing traffic and swelling voices now felt far away, masked by the steady hum of Suzuya’s breathing.


End file.
